Nho Thi Pham

Last night, we lost a beloved member of our family. My dad's younger sister, Nho Thi Pham, passed away after a three year battle with cancer. I have always called her Co Bay, which means Aunt 7. Co Bay was diagnosed when I was pregnant with Andrew and was given only six months to a year to live. The cancer had spread into her brain and she had to have surgery to remove the tumors. After the surgery, she recovered and began treatment, to which was very successful. She seemed to become pretty healthy again and we were all overjoyed. But we always knew, we were on borrowed time.

Over the past few months, her health had deteriorated including one of her kidneys stopped functioning. And then we found out that more tumors had reappeared in her brain, but she wasn't able to undergo surgery because of her weakened state with the kidney failure. Things went okay for awhile, but she never fully recovered after that.

Last Monday, she was readmitted to the hospital and the doctors said she didn't have much longer. Sadly, there wasn't anything left to do. We all braced ourselves and waited and prayed. But she held on and was later moved to a nursing home/rehab clinic. She wasn't very responsive at this point and was sleeping most of the time due to all the medication to keep her comfortable. And last night, she passed away.

Of course, I am heartbroken and filled with grief. But I am glad she's not in pain anymore. I hated seeing her in the hospital like that and we all just wanted her to be at peace. But the things I am most distraught over is the sadness I feel for my dad to lose his younger sister and for my cousin, Kristie, who is only fifteen and having to lose her mother at such a young age. I don't know what I would do now if I lost either one of my parents and I am thirty-four years old! I can't imagine what my cousin is going through. I feel so terrible that any child has to go through something like this, but more so a girl I love dearly. She's such a good kid--very well behaved and does very well in school.

Co Bay was very big on family just like my dad. She was the one who initiated the procedure to have Uncle 9's family and Uncle 10's family come here from Vietnam. She housed them and took care of them quite a bit until they were on their feet.

I can still remember the first time I met Co Bay. She and my paternal grandmother had just arrived from Vietnam. I can picture her sitting at our old dining table at our old house that I grew up in. I didn't spend a whole lot of time with her, but when I did, she was always very sweet and kind to me. And how she adored Andrew too. I have a very fond memory of Vanna's graduation party where Co Bay was making Andrew laugh hysterically. I knew then I would remember that moment always. And I will.

Co Bay, we love you and will miss you so very much. Thank you for all that you did for our family. Thank you for being a wonderful aunt.

Nho Thi Pham
05/12/1955-03/31/2011