whew! where to start?!
7 years ago
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Zoo with the Lins
The holidays have been a good time to try to meet up with dear friends and we did it again this morning when we met up with the Lins for a play date at the zoo. Andrew was happy to spend some time with Evan; and I, of course, was happy to get to catch up with Aunt Belinda. The twins were so cute...they are growing up so fast!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Holiday Bowl
Today was the Holiday Bowl featuring our Texas Longhorns versus the UCLA Bruins. Pre-game, I got this photo of Andrew, which I absolutely love!! I only wish it wasn't taken with my cell phone so the quality would be a little better. Oh well, better than nothing!!
And to top it off, the Horns were victorious!! Hook 'em!!
And to top it off, the Horns were victorious!! Hook 'em!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Lunch with the Gonzalez Family
This afternoon on our way out of San Antonio, we met up with Uncle Alex and his family. Andrew loved being with the twins!! Xavier was really funny and put straws in between his fingers to make it look like Wolverine.
It wasn't near long enough, but I am glad we got to see the Gonzalez family for the time that we were able to.
It wasn't near long enough, but I am glad we got to see the Gonzalez family for the time that we were able to.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Roosevelt Reunion
Today, we drove down to San Antonio to see some old friends. The Tse family were down from Michigan for the holidays so the Buchhorns were hosting a Roosevelt reunion at their house.
By our arrival, most of the kids were playing in the backyard. Andrew jumped right in and starting playing with the girls (there were four girls and only two boys). Later, the kids made it into the house. Andrew pretty much played with whatever the other kids played, which ended up being primarily dolls. But he did play more with the doll house, car, and horse. Caroline and Hannah were really sweet letting him play with them.
Soon it was time for dinner. Aunt Laura cooked up a yummy meal. Andrew ate some ham, but scarfed down the mac and cheese and broccoli even having seconds. We also had tons of delicious sweets; Andrew probably had thirds on the brownies!
It was getting late so we needed to get going back to Nonna's. But we had a wonderful time seeing old friends!! And we really appreciate Uncle Brad and Aunt Laura for opening their home to all of us and hosting a great night.
By our arrival, most of the kids were playing in the backyard. Andrew jumped right in and starting playing with the girls (there were four girls and only two boys). Later, the kids made it into the house. Andrew pretty much played with whatever the other kids played, which ended up being primarily dolls. But he did play more with the doll house, car, and horse. Caroline and Hannah were really sweet letting him play with them.
Soon it was time for dinner. Aunt Laura cooked up a yummy meal. Andrew ate some ham, but scarfed down the mac and cheese and broccoli even having seconds. We also had tons of delicious sweets; Andrew probably had thirds on the brownies!
It was getting late so we needed to get going back to Nonna's. But we had a wonderful time seeing old friends!! And we really appreciate Uncle Brad and Aunt Laura for opening their home to all of us and hosting a great night.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas in Austin
We drove to Uncle John's house. Upon arrival, Andrew immediately went to play with Peter and Kathryn. They played cars, LEGOs, and Rock Band and also jumped on the trampoline. Kathryn and Andrew also drew with some new art stuff that Kathryn had received for Christmas.
Then, the kids did not have to wait any longer. It was time to open more presents!! The kids opened their gifts in record time. And then, we asked Andrew to hand our our gifts to the rest of the family. It wasn't too much into that, but he obliged.
After all the presents were unwrapped, the kids went straight back to playing. Then, it was time to eat Christmas dinner. It was a delicious feast. Andrew ate the ribeye roast, scalloped potatoes and asparagus.
After dinner, it was back to more playing. We all started watching A Christmas Story on TV. But we noticed Andrew was starting to look tired so we left to go to Uncle Foo's house. He actually fell asleep on the way over, but woke back up when we arrived. It took him a while to fall back asleep, but he finally did.
Below are some pictures from our time in Austin. The rest can be found on shutterfly.
Then, the kids did not have to wait any longer. It was time to open more presents!! The kids opened their gifts in record time. And then, we asked Andrew to hand our our gifts to the rest of the family. It wasn't too much into that, but he obliged.
After all the presents were unwrapped, the kids went straight back to playing. Then, it was time to eat Christmas dinner. It was a delicious feast. Andrew ate the ribeye roast, scalloped potatoes and asparagus.
After dinner, it was back to more playing. We all started watching A Christmas Story on TV. But we noticed Andrew was starting to look tired so we left to go to Uncle Foo's house. He actually fell asleep on the way over, but woke back up when we arrived. It took him a while to fall back asleep, but he finally did.
Below are some pictures from our time in Austin. The rest can be found on shutterfly.
Christmas Morning
Andrew woke up around the normal time--after 7am. He came in our room and asked "Santa come to our house?" I said, "I think so." Andrew then said, "What did he get me?" Of course, I wasn't going to spill the beans. What fun would that be? So, I said for him to go downstairs and look.
We walked downstairs and I said for him to give me a second to grab the camera, but he wanted to check it out. He saw his bike and said "Woowwww!!"
We let him open his other gifts. He started out with his stocking and there was a new Thomas train named Belle (from the new movie).
He opened up our gifts and got a lot of LEGOs, books, trains, and fire trucks. He really loved all the LEGOs (especially the fire truck and garbage truck) he got and wanted to build them right away.
But we had to tell him we had to get on the road to Austin. There was more Christmas to be had!!
We walked downstairs and I said for him to give me a second to grab the camera, but he wanted to check it out. He saw his bike and said "Woowwww!!"
We let him open his other gifts. He started out with his stocking and there was a new Thomas train named Belle (from the new movie).
He opened up our gifts and got a lot of LEGOs, books, trains, and fire trucks. He really loved all the LEGOs (especially the fire truck and garbage truck) he got and wanted to build them right away.
But we had to tell him we had to get on the road to Austin. There was more Christmas to be had!!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Happy 46th Month Birthday
Andrew has been really in the Christmas spirit this year. He talks about Christmas all the time and asks when it is coming. He is loving songs like Jingle Bells and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. He takes great pride in turning on and off the lights on the Christmas tree. He asks to go see Christmas lights at Lights in the Heights and River Oaks. Drew talks frequently about what he is wants for Christmas. He knows he gets to ask Santa for one gift and takes it very seriously. He has said from the get go that he wanted a bicycle. At first, it was a Thomas bike, but now, he says just a green bike. Moreover, as I mentioned before, he is so obsessed with his Advent calendar and doesn't understand why he cannot have all the presents already.
We have told Andrew that not all the Santas we see are the real Santa Claus because the real Santa is very busy and can't be everywhere so he has helpers. So every time we see one, he will ask if it's the real Santa or not. When we talked about going back to the Festival of Lights, he asked if Papa was going to come and that he maybe would like it.
After seeing the volunteers for the Salvation Army at a few places, Andrew was curious about why they were out there with their bells so I explained how they were raising money for those who didn't have enough. Sure enough, one night when we were home, he grabbed a bell ornament from our tree and starting ringing it and then asked "Can I have some money?" We laughed until our tummies hurt!!
He asks about when things are going to be again like book fair and Halloween. Drew has also been asking more and more about going to ride the Polar Express. The train lover still asks to go back to Thomas Live on Stage and Thomas Day Out. He also talks a lot about his upcoming birthday especially his party theme.
Our little traveler was very excited about going to Vegas and sledding. He said he wanted to go with sledding with Cara because she goes fast. But when Aunt Anh Thu asked about going with Uncle Rick because he goes faster, he said "no thanks, just Cara".
As for toys, Andrew really enjoys playing LEGOs. He primarily builds trains, fire trucks, houses, and fire stations. I think he asks "you play with me?" at least one time every day. He also plays with his iPad playing on coloring apps and watching videos mainly. Andrew has also been playing quite a bit with these Melissa & Doug Town Wooden Blocks that Nonna gave him. Andrew has been enjoying playing games such as Gold Fish and Memory. For Memory, we play with a Thomas Match Game set as well as the picture cards of various objects.
I don't know where he got this from, but one day he pretended to ride a snowboard on a rectangle piece of cardboard that he found around the house. We have also been pretending to be pirates complete with Andrew drawing a jolly roger and treasure map and pretend our couch is our pirate ship. Andrew also asks to build tents and forts often.
Andrew still loves movie nights especially the popcorn part. This past month, Drew has watched Bolt and Finding Nemo, but he is also enjoying holiday films such as The Grinch Stole Christmas and Charlie Brown Christmas. He is able to sit through the entire movie with no problems. And if he gets scared, he just covers his eyes, but still peers through his fingers.
We continue to work on his letters and numbers. He can spell words like Andrew, train, and fire. Drew has been very much into drawing on white blank paper (he is adamant about the white) and has been drawing lots of Christmas trees with trains underneath like ours at home. Of course, he still draws fire trucks and fire stations.
Andrew has been eating very well lately. He is really becoming more and more the carnivore liking meat which he likes to reiterate when he is eating that it will make him "big and strong". One of his favorite meals is the Mongolian Beef from Pei Wei.
His beverage in choice in the mornings have been strawberry and chocolate milk. For lunch at school, he typically asks for grilled cheese sandwiches and pizza Lunchables. He loves pizza especially from Pizza Hut and Totino's. His favorite snack is Nilla wafers.
We are starting to have a little food critic on our hands who will tell me upon occasion "Mom, you make a good dinner" or "Can we have it again another day?" if he likes what I made for dinner. He loves it when I cook spaghetti and penne pasta with Alfredo sauce, chicken, and broccoli. One night, I overcooked some meat to which he promptly told me that "dinner not so good." And our little sous chef still enjoys to help us cook. He loves to pour and stir whatever he can. Most times, he doesn't make a mess, but upon occasion, we have some spills, but nothing too bad.
For whatever reason, Andrew likes to say that he is a size 3. He is dressing himself more and more. We have been working with him to put on his shoes. One time, he was wearing a polo knit and I hadn't buttoned the top button yet. I made the mistake of saying "too sexy" in reference to a SNL skit. Now, he repeats it all the time!
Drew has been great with wearing his big boy underwear and not having any accidents. He is funny because we will ask him to go pee to which he says "I don't need to go pee". But then he pees like a race horse.
He is missing more naps nowadays. When I ask him if he's taken at nap when I pick him up from school, he will sometimes get quiet and clam up, which gives me my answer. He will then tell me "I'm sorry for not taking a nap." One time when I was putting him down for a nap myself, he didn't fall asleep after I kept after him about laying down nicely and to stay in his room. Afterwards, he asked me to play with him. I told him that I wouldn't play with him because he didn't listen to me about taking a nap. He copped an attitude and said to me "now you listen to me!"
At night time, Andrew will ask "you lay with me?" We oblige him for about five minutes and then let him go to sleep on his own. There have been a few times that he asks to sleep in our room. One time, I told him that there isn't enough room for all three of us (in all honesty, there is, but Andrew loves to kick Daddy in bed). He then suggested that we can take turns sleeping in our room. Nice try, Drew! But he is definitely given us less problems at night time, which is such a nice relief.
There are so many more things that Andrew comes up with on his own that crack us up hysterically. For example, one day when we were running errands, we were going to take Daddy home to rest and study while Andrew and I continued some shopping. Andrew's take on that was that we could "let Daddy stay in the car".
Another time when we go to my parents' house, he now asks if we are going to spend the night. One time I asked him how many nights he wanted to stay over and he replied "5". And there was one time when he told me he is not going to college. When I asked him why, he said because he can't drive there.
When he gets in trouble, he will tell me he will "do it everyday" whatever he is supposed to. And as to whatever misbehavior he has done, he will tell me he will do it "never again". Andrew will also throw out quite a bit "sorry, my fault" for little things.
I hear a lot of "thanks, Mom" versus "thank you", but I'll take it. Andrew frequently calls out "Mom?" and then when I say "yes?", he says "I love you."
In regards to how Andrew is fairing in terms of grieving for his brother, Andrew still is such a brave little boy. He asks a lot of questions and sometimes, I don't have the answers. He has asked me why we can't see people in Heaven up in the sky. He will ask to pray for Matthew at night before bed. One night when I was putting him to bed, he was really quiet and said, "I just thinking about something." I asked him what he was thinking about. And he replied, "Matthew. I miss him." I then said, "I miss him too. Any time you want to talk about him, we can." He replied, "How about tomorrow morning?" Of course, I responded, "Of course, whenever, love."
We love you, little man!! We are so lucky to be your parents!
We have told Andrew that not all the Santas we see are the real Santa Claus because the real Santa is very busy and can't be everywhere so he has helpers. So every time we see one, he will ask if it's the real Santa or not. When we talked about going back to the Festival of Lights, he asked if Papa was going to come and that he maybe would like it.
After seeing the volunteers for the Salvation Army at a few places, Andrew was curious about why they were out there with their bells so I explained how they were raising money for those who didn't have enough. Sure enough, one night when we were home, he grabbed a bell ornament from our tree and starting ringing it and then asked "Can I have some money?" We laughed until our tummies hurt!!
He asks about when things are going to be again like book fair and Halloween. Drew has also been asking more and more about going to ride the Polar Express. The train lover still asks to go back to Thomas Live on Stage and Thomas Day Out. He also talks a lot about his upcoming birthday especially his party theme.
Our little traveler was very excited about going to Vegas and sledding. He said he wanted to go with sledding with Cara because she goes fast. But when Aunt Anh Thu asked about going with Uncle Rick because he goes faster, he said "no thanks, just Cara".
As for toys, Andrew really enjoys playing LEGOs. He primarily builds trains, fire trucks, houses, and fire stations. I think he asks "you play with me?" at least one time every day. He also plays with his iPad playing on coloring apps and watching videos mainly. Andrew has also been playing quite a bit with these Melissa & Doug Town Wooden Blocks that Nonna gave him. Andrew has been enjoying playing games such as Gold Fish and Memory. For Memory, we play with a Thomas Match Game set as well as the picture cards of various objects.
I don't know where he got this from, but one day he pretended to ride a snowboard on a rectangle piece of cardboard that he found around the house. We have also been pretending to be pirates complete with Andrew drawing a jolly roger and treasure map and pretend our couch is our pirate ship. Andrew also asks to build tents and forts often.
Andrew still loves movie nights especially the popcorn part. This past month, Drew has watched Bolt and Finding Nemo, but he is also enjoying holiday films such as The Grinch Stole Christmas and Charlie Brown Christmas. He is able to sit through the entire movie with no problems. And if he gets scared, he just covers his eyes, but still peers through his fingers.
We continue to work on his letters and numbers. He can spell words like Andrew, train, and fire. Drew has been very much into drawing on white blank paper (he is adamant about the white) and has been drawing lots of Christmas trees with trains underneath like ours at home. Of course, he still draws fire trucks and fire stations.
Andrew has been eating very well lately. He is really becoming more and more the carnivore liking meat which he likes to reiterate when he is eating that it will make him "big and strong". One of his favorite meals is the Mongolian Beef from Pei Wei.
His beverage in choice in the mornings have been strawberry and chocolate milk. For lunch at school, he typically asks for grilled cheese sandwiches and pizza Lunchables. He loves pizza especially from Pizza Hut and Totino's. His favorite snack is Nilla wafers.
We are starting to have a little food critic on our hands who will tell me upon occasion "Mom, you make a good dinner" or "Can we have it again another day?" if he likes what I made for dinner. He loves it when I cook spaghetti and penne pasta with Alfredo sauce, chicken, and broccoli. One night, I overcooked some meat to which he promptly told me that "dinner not so good." And our little sous chef still enjoys to help us cook. He loves to pour and stir whatever he can. Most times, he doesn't make a mess, but upon occasion, we have some spills, but nothing too bad.
For whatever reason, Andrew likes to say that he is a size 3. He is dressing himself more and more. We have been working with him to put on his shoes. One time, he was wearing a polo knit and I hadn't buttoned the top button yet. I made the mistake of saying "too sexy" in reference to a SNL skit. Now, he repeats it all the time!
Drew has been great with wearing his big boy underwear and not having any accidents. He is funny because we will ask him to go pee to which he says "I don't need to go pee". But then he pees like a race horse.
He is missing more naps nowadays. When I ask him if he's taken at nap when I pick him up from school, he will sometimes get quiet and clam up, which gives me my answer. He will then tell me "I'm sorry for not taking a nap." One time when I was putting him down for a nap myself, he didn't fall asleep after I kept after him about laying down nicely and to stay in his room. Afterwards, he asked me to play with him. I told him that I wouldn't play with him because he didn't listen to me about taking a nap. He copped an attitude and said to me "now you listen to me!"
At night time, Andrew will ask "you lay with me?" We oblige him for about five minutes and then let him go to sleep on his own. There have been a few times that he asks to sleep in our room. One time, I told him that there isn't enough room for all three of us (in all honesty, there is, but Andrew loves to kick Daddy in bed). He then suggested that we can take turns sleeping in our room. Nice try, Drew! But he is definitely given us less problems at night time, which is such a nice relief.
There are so many more things that Andrew comes up with on his own that crack us up hysterically. For example, one day when we were running errands, we were going to take Daddy home to rest and study while Andrew and I continued some shopping. Andrew's take on that was that we could "let Daddy stay in the car".
Another time when we go to my parents' house, he now asks if we are going to spend the night. One time I asked him how many nights he wanted to stay over and he replied "5". And there was one time when he told me he is not going to college. When I asked him why, he said because he can't drive there.
When he gets in trouble, he will tell me he will "do it everyday" whatever he is supposed to. And as to whatever misbehavior he has done, he will tell me he will do it "never again". Andrew will also throw out quite a bit "sorry, my fault" for little things.
I hear a lot of "thanks, Mom" versus "thank you", but I'll take it. Andrew frequently calls out "Mom?" and then when I say "yes?", he says "I love you."
In regards to how Andrew is fairing in terms of grieving for his brother, Andrew still is such a brave little boy. He asks a lot of questions and sometimes, I don't have the answers. He has asked me why we can't see people in Heaven up in the sky. He will ask to pray for Matthew at night before bed. One night when I was putting him to bed, he was really quiet and said, "I just thinking about something." I asked him what he was thinking about. And he replied, "Matthew. I miss him." I then said, "I miss him too. Any time you want to talk about him, we can." He replied, "How about tomorrow morning?" Of course, I responded, "Of course, whenever, love."
We love you, little man!! We are so lucky to be your parents!
Christmas Eve
Tonight, we celebrated Christmas with my side of the family since we are headed to Austin tomorrow for Christmas. The evening started out with dinner of deep fried turkey courtesy of Papa and some venison that Uncle Foo cooked up. Ngoai took care of most of the sides.
After dinner came the most anticipated part...for Andrew (I think I was most excited about the deep fried turkey). When we told him it was almost time to open gifts, he started looking around for presents with his name on it. Papa helped to put together a pile of his gifts and he pretended to put his arms around it saying "these all mine!"
We let him go first since he was the only kid and he ripped into them. He loved all his gifts and wanted to open them immediately. But we told him he couldn't and for him to unwrap the rest of his gifts. When he was done, we let him open a few of his new toys while the rest of the adults opened their gifts.
After a while, we said it was time to go home. Of course, he wanted to stay, but I told him we had to go home and get the cookies and milk ready for Santa so he was more agreeable to leave. Our little munchkin ended up falling asleep on the ride home (no nap today). So, Daddy and Mommy were able to get everything ready for tomorrow morning!!
Below are some photos from our festivities tonight; and I have posted the rest on our shutterfly site.
After dinner came the most anticipated part...for Andrew (I think I was most excited about the deep fried turkey). When we told him it was almost time to open gifts, he started looking around for presents with his name on it. Papa helped to put together a pile of his gifts and he pretended to put his arms around it saying "these all mine!"
We let him go first since he was the only kid and he ripped into them. He loved all his gifts and wanted to open them immediately. But we told him he couldn't and for him to unwrap the rest of his gifts. When he was done, we let him open a few of his new toys while the rest of the adults opened their gifts.
After a while, we said it was time to go home. Of course, he wanted to stay, but I told him we had to go home and get the cookies and milk ready for Santa so he was more agreeable to leave. Our little munchkin ended up falling asleep on the ride home (no nap today). So, Daddy and Mommy were able to get everything ready for tomorrow morning!!
Below are some photos from our festivities tonight; and I have posted the rest on our shutterfly site.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Five Months Later
The past month has been pretty hard on me with the holidays. And it's getting harder and harder with Christmas nearing.
I broke down once on Thanksgiving. There were times throughout the day that I felt Matthew's absence, but only once did it get to me where I couldn't stop but cry. I was surrounded by so much family and friends, but there was one person whose presence was not there that weighed heavy on my heart.
With Christmas right around the corner, I keep thinking how it would Matthew's first Christmas and how everything would be different. Instead of looking for ornaments for "Baby's First Christmas", I am looking for memorial ornaments. It's easier with having to do things to prepare for Christmas for Andrew, but it doesn't make the hurt go away. I just think that I should be having to prepare for Christmas for two children and not one here on Earth and one in Heaven.
James and I have discussed about what we want to do for Matthew for Christmas and what we have come up with is releasing balloons again. And Andrew seems to like the idea of doing that for his baby brother too so that helps immensely. I don't know if I can handle much else.
Even our holiday photo session got to me a little. I knew it would, but I didn't fathom how much. It just felt weird not having all four of us in the picture. Matthew is part of our family and to have a family picture without him seems so wrong. But sadly, we will never have a family photo like the one my heart wants. And it was hard to decide on a design for our cards too. I kept looking at the photos we took and thinking Matthew should be in the picture too. It breaks my heart that we won't ever have a family photo with all four of us.
But the holidays are definitely trying for me. Even when I am running around doing stuff for Christmas like buying presents, I can't help to think of how it would be if I had my little baby on the go with me. I sometimes allow myself to imagine how I would be dressing both boys in their matching Christmas outfits and taking them to see Santa. One of my favorite Christmas songs is I'll Be Home for Christmas and now I just think how Matthew won't be home for Christmas. Well, not at our home. Just all these things in the normal course of my life are affected by his absence.
I know it's normal to be sadder around the holidays. I am trying to cope as best I can. And most days, I am able to cope and go about my life. I keep trying to focus on what I do have and not what I don't. I tell myself that Matthew is where he needs to be. He'll be celebrating Christmas in the most perfect place--celebrating the birth of Jesus up in Heaven with God and Jesus. It just still hurts so much that he's not here with us.
I'll close with another song that I've been listening to. I would give just about anything to have one more day with my son...one more second even. Just anything so I could hold him, kiss him, and tell him how much I love him.
And lastly, one of the few pictures of Daddy, Mommy, and Matthew.
Diamond Rio - One More Day
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didnt ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
I broke down once on Thanksgiving. There were times throughout the day that I felt Matthew's absence, but only once did it get to me where I couldn't stop but cry. I was surrounded by so much family and friends, but there was one person whose presence was not there that weighed heavy on my heart.
With Christmas right around the corner, I keep thinking how it would Matthew's first Christmas and how everything would be different. Instead of looking for ornaments for "Baby's First Christmas", I am looking for memorial ornaments. It's easier with having to do things to prepare for Christmas for Andrew, but it doesn't make the hurt go away. I just think that I should be having to prepare for Christmas for two children and not one here on Earth and one in Heaven.
James and I have discussed about what we want to do for Matthew for Christmas and what we have come up with is releasing balloons again. And Andrew seems to like the idea of doing that for his baby brother too so that helps immensely. I don't know if I can handle much else.
Even our holiday photo session got to me a little. I knew it would, but I didn't fathom how much. It just felt weird not having all four of us in the picture. Matthew is part of our family and to have a family picture without him seems so wrong. But sadly, we will never have a family photo like the one my heart wants. And it was hard to decide on a design for our cards too. I kept looking at the photos we took and thinking Matthew should be in the picture too. It breaks my heart that we won't ever have a family photo with all four of us.
But the holidays are definitely trying for me. Even when I am running around doing stuff for Christmas like buying presents, I can't help to think of how it would be if I had my little baby on the go with me. I sometimes allow myself to imagine how I would be dressing both boys in their matching Christmas outfits and taking them to see Santa. One of my favorite Christmas songs is I'll Be Home for Christmas and now I just think how Matthew won't be home for Christmas. Well, not at our home. Just all these things in the normal course of my life are affected by his absence.
I know it's normal to be sadder around the holidays. I am trying to cope as best I can. And most days, I am able to cope and go about my life. I keep trying to focus on what I do have and not what I don't. I tell myself that Matthew is where he needs to be. He'll be celebrating Christmas in the most perfect place--celebrating the birth of Jesus up in Heaven with God and Jesus. It just still hurts so much that he's not here with us.
I'll close with another song that I've been listening to. I would give just about anything to have one more day with my son...one more second even. Just anything so I could hold him, kiss him, and tell him how much I love him.
And lastly, one of the few pictures of Daddy, Mommy, and Matthew.
Diamond Rio - One More Day
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didnt ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas Play Date in Sugarland
To continue with making up for lost time during our Christmas break, we drove out to Sugarland for a play date with the Chengs and the Tams. It was so good to see them again and the kids had fun playing again.
One not-so-small incident that happened was Andrew's boo boo on his upper lip popped. We were trying not to pop it until it was ready, but apparently, it took care of that for us. We were eating lunch and I thought it was cheese on his lip, but it was puss. Next thing I know, blood was gushing out too. My poor baby. He cried a little, but I think he was more because he didn't know what was happening. I am sure it was did hurt, but I could tell he was bewildered. Poor kid. But after just a few moments of crying, he stopped crying and totally took it like a champ. The puss and blood continued to seep out and he let me wipe it and even wiped it by himself for the rest of the afternoon. I was so proud of how he handled himself.
One not-so-small incident that happened was Andrew's boo boo on his upper lip popped. We were trying not to pop it until it was ready, but apparently, it took care of that for us. We were eating lunch and I thought it was cheese on his lip, but it was puss. Next thing I know, blood was gushing out too. My poor baby. He cried a little, but I think he was more because he didn't know what was happening. I am sure it was did hurt, but I could tell he was bewildered. Poor kid. But after just a few moments of crying, he stopped crying and totally took it like a champ. The puss and blood continued to seep out and he let me wipe it and even wiped it by himself for the rest of the afternoon. I was so proud of how he handled himself.
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