An Angel

Yesterday afternoon, Andrew saw a picture of Matthew today and said "my baby Matthew" and then proceeded to ask me "Is Matthew an angel now?" I couldn't help but to start crying. Andrew, of course, then gets concerned and asks why I am crying. And I tell him like I have been, "I just miss Matthew very much." And then, he sweetly tells me "don't be sad" and goes to get me some tissue paper.

He has been so unbelieveably sweet and amazing through all this. I know when Andrew talks about Matthew, he is usually just repeating a lot of what we have been telling him. But sometimes he still asks questions of his own like "When is Matthew coming back?" James and I are trying to answer his questions as best we can, but sometimes, we don't have the answers ourselves.

It's unbearable to have to go through this, but it hurts me so much that Andrew has to too. He's way too young to have to endure this kind of tragedy. And even in this time of our loss and grief, Andrew has been our saving grace giving us a reason of being. And I knew we were lucky to have Andrew in our lives, but now, I know it even more so what a blessing he truly is.

Here's the little guy at dinner tonight enjoying a mint chocolate chip milkshake at 59 Diner.