Holy Spirit Nursery

This morning, we headed to 930am mass at Holy Spirit. We walked over to the benches in the back of church where many families sit so the kids don't cause too much disturbance in church. Daddy and I prefer to sit here since Andrew doesn't always behave the best inside the church. We never know how he will behave. So, we just feel it's safer this way. We told Aunt Janine and Nonna that we would understand if they would rather sit inside. We feel bad if Andrew hinders their worshipping in any way. And sitting in the back can be disruptive with all the other kids around.

But Andrew got upset that he wasn't sitting with them inside and kept saying "in there." He was too whiney for us to agree to take him inside. So, we thought we might try the church nursery. Nonna had suggested it right after we arrived at church, but we weren't comfortable with it considering we hadn't talked to Andrew about it prior to. We were also rushing to get into church, I was scared that it would all be too rushed. Anyhow, I asked Andrew if he wanted to go to a room where he could play with toys and with other kids. And then, I furthered explained that I would leave to go back into church, but would be back to pick him up. I guess since I have been telling him that I would be dropping him off at school and picking him back up later, he kind of understood what would happen. He said he wanted to go so I thought we could give a try.

I told Daddy to go sit with his family; and I would go take Andrew to the nursery thinking it would be easier if only one parent left him versus two. As I walked in, I explained to the nursery caretakers that it would be the first time in a long time that I have left Andrew with anyone but family. They were very sweet trying to comfort both Andrew and Mommy. I also warned him that he was a swiper too!

I sat down with Andrew and found some toys that he might like to play with, including a train and fire truck. He was rather apprehensive about playing with the toys, but he quickly acclimated. They were also showing an episode of Dora the Explorer so that helped a little too. Later, Andrew saw the play kitchen and wanted to go play with it. So, I walked him over and started playing a little with him. Then, I told him again that I was leaving for a little bit, but would come back and pick him up. He didn't say anything, but just kept playing with all the kitchen stuff. As I started to walk out, I heard that very familiar "Mama" and turned around to see Andrew walking towards me. I walked him back to the kitchen area and told him again that he could play for a little bit and I would come back in a little while to pick him up. I stayed for about another minute and made my way out the door. There were no more calls for "Mama" and there were no tears.

I quickly found Daddy who was too worried about Andrew to go sit inside. He wanted to make sure that Andrew was ok. We sat and listened for a little bit, but our minds were completely affixed on Andrew. I have to admit that I think I was very anxious and felt nervous. Daddy said he was feeling anxious too. I then said that when Daddy went to take communion, I would head back to the nursery. But Daddy said he wanted to go observe and make sure Andrew was okay. We walked back to the nursery and one of the caretakers waved and smiled at us as if to say Andrew was all right. So, we hung back a little while and let him be. We did hear another caretaker tell Andrew to not take a chair from another little boy and helped him to get another one.

We continued to watch for a few more minutes and then, I was ready to go in and get him. When we walked in, one caretaker asked Andrew who was there. He looked over and saw me. There was just a look that only your child can give you. One of love and adoration. One that makes me feel so needed. He was so happy to see me. He ran over and gave me a hug. But then, he pulled me over to go play kitchen with him some more. We played for a bit longer, but then I told him we had to clean up because we had to leave soon. He said he wanted to leave. Ha!! But I said we were going to back to Nonna's house and Stephanie and Thomas were going to come too. He seemed all right with that and proceeded to clean up.

In hindsight, I am glad we let him go to the nursery for a bit. I think it was a good test of how Andrew might do when he starts going to school. He wasn't in there for too long before we came and got him. I am proud of him for being okay with not a lot of forewarning and contemplation. I am very proud that he didn't cry and behaved pretty well in the nursery. But I can't believe how much I longed for him and worried about him when he was in there. I know it's going to be hard on me when Andrew goes to school--probably harder on me than him. I have total faith and trust in the caretakers and his teachers at school, but I just worry how Andrew will handle everything. I am scared that he will be sad and feel scared. But getting to see Andrew play and have a good time in the nursery this morning somewhat eased my fears--a little, not a lot, but a little more than before.